Tag Archives: frito-lay

Letter to Frito-lay

16 Jan

Dear Frito-lay,

I’d first like to commend you on creating a flavored tortilla snack – “Doritos” – that are ingeniously appetizing. When I was a child, Doritos were always my snack of preference. So much so, my parents could always entice me into good behavior with the promise of a bag of Doritos.

With that being said, I’m sorry to have to unveil to you and to myself, that I have not enjoyed a bag of Doritos for quite a few some years now. But, within these same years that I’ve been neglected a bag of Doritos, I have had the displeasure of purchasing for .75 cents several plastic bags enclosed with Dorito-scented air. It seems that your company is no longer actually manufacturing bags filled with chips, but have taken on, what I must only assume is some sick joke, to be content with merely rubbing a chip on the inside of the bag. I am myself a pretty skilled novice jokster as well, so I am writing to you today to suggest some fresh ideas to help enhance the chicanery that you fine people of Frito-lay have been attempting.

  • Have little kids color triangular pieces of paper orange and stuff your bags with those instead. Market as “Healthy snacks”
  • Fill your bags with strings and confetti
  • Sell Dorito chips bagged individually for .50 cents a piece, call them “Doritos for the weight-watchers”
  • Sell mini-Doritos in the same bag and call them “Dorit-itos
  • Stop selling Doritos altogether

Just in case you swell people at Frito-lay are having doubts, I am being facetious. Please, get it together.